The start of breastfeeding experience was swamped with lots of difficulties, discouragements and wrong instructions.
Even before my baby Joel was born, my ob-gyn asked me this innocent question:
He: so are you going to breastfeed?
Me: yes, if possible.
He: but what if your milk doesn’t come in when you’ve delivered? Is it ok to give formula?
Me: ok, I don’t want to starve the baby.
I did not know that it’s ok not to feed the baby as soon as he’s born. I didn’t know that I can also produce this wonderful liquid gold called colostrum.
After my caesarean delivery (3pm), I was unconscious for about 3 hours. Thinking back, I was feeling quite cheated because it is not necessary for me to be unconscious for my delivery. But I trusted the doctor too much. I wasn’t even dilated and it’s not necessary for me to even have a caesarean but I was somehow convinced by his words that the caesarean was necessary.
Upon waking up at 6pm, I can’t sit up and hence didn’t feed my baby. (but of course, no nurse was helpful enough to advise me to breastfeed lying down) My husband and mum took turns to bottle feed the baby formula.
The next morning at 5am, I woke up feeling engorged and walked out to the nursery to find my baby to breastfeed. However, the nurses told me that the doctor will be making his rounds and required the baby to be in the nursery. It was only about 10am that the nurses wheeled my baby in.
The nurse tried to help me hold my baby to breastfeed but after a few torturous minutes, we both gave up and then my husband bottle fed him formula again. But thank God, in the afternoon, without the clumsy nurse’s help and having gain more confidence in holding my baby, I managed to breastfeed him. He was latching beautiful and drinking wonderfully.
Back at home, where my mum was doing my confinement, I was faced with lots of her discouragement, such as:
1) my milk being diluted
2) I was exhausted and should not be wasting my strength to breastfeed
3) I cannot take too much ginger or wine if I breastfeed and hence my health will suffer later
4) it’s not good to give baby chilled milk that was warmed up
5) baby is drinking so much, maybe I don’t have enough milk.
And a few times while I was asleep, my mum did feed baby formula behind my back!
But later on, I manage to get back control.
Back to work at a property company, I pumped 3 times in the office. I’ve my colleague telling me to shut my noisy medela pump off but I persist. Even though initially I pumped my milk at my desk with no privacy at all, I still continue. Thank God, my receptionist was quite supportive to my breastfeeding and allowed me to use the meeting room when it’s not occupied. Though the glass door and walls are merely translucent, using meeting rooms did provide me with more privacy and less noise to my collegues. It was really a great blessing that later on, I manage to find a little PABX room to do my pumping.
Then, I switched job to Creative technology where there’s 2 wonderful nursing rooms to choose from. The difficulties I faced there is the lack of time as I was absolutely swamped at work. My commitment to pump 3 time at work was sometimes not fulfilled. Still, I have enough breastmilk for my son, so I don’t have to supplement myself.
But no matter what I do, I cannot change my mother’s mindset. She insisted that all babies need formula, so when feeding solids, she will put in a scoop of formula. But thank God, my Joel rejects all formula given via the bottle for him to drink. He only drinks breastmilk and preferably directly from the breast.
It’s such a joy breastfeeding my Joel that even though he’s coming 26months now, I am still going strong. I thank God for creating breasts in me, so that I can nurture my son and enjoy the bonding.
Written 4 August 2006 (from WBW2006 blog)